"So, boys and girls! What kept us all together during that piece"
"Was it, um, Scottish?"
"Well - the answer I was looking for was actually 'rhythm'"

Yes - it's live music concerts time again. Rebecca and I are exploring the pub lunches of South Gloucestershire, and trying to ignore the other half of the quartet. Bob has arranged 'Summer Holiday'. Sort of. How can you have grown up in the 50's and not ever actually heard anything by Cliff Richard? He takes the tunes and puts in his own harmonies. Doesn't half baffle the punters!

I'm not really keen on all that 'jingoism' as they call it. Y'know, flag waving and the like. However, it occurred to me during the last verse of Rule Britannia on Saturday that if it wasn't for the flag wavers and picnickers my income would be considerably lower.

Helen had put away the washing when pissed the other week. Before she left for the concert, she had a quick rumage in her drawer and pulled out her black concert stuff. Only it wasn't. It was her son's pyjamas. They are basically black, but with a very loud South Park cartoon about Attention Deficit Disorder on the front of the T shirt top. It was fine when she put the top on back to front - so long as someone was behind her at all times.